"I’m going on an adventure!"
"No you aren’t, come eat your fruit."
the goal is to love myself so much it offends other people
Thats why he’s my idol.
he looks so pleased with himself and that makes me happy
A news station was interviewing a man who lived near a dangerous intersection. It is known for an inordinate number of car crashes.
HE JUST KIND OF STEPS BACK
“oh see there you go son”
BALLS OF NONCHALANT STEEL
“See, now this is the kinda shit I’m talking about…”
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
WHY IS THIS SO ENTERTAINING
why test on animals when there r people who r rude to waiters
can’t wait till all my friends get married and have nice weddings with open bars