Smashing

it makes me so happy that strangers find me followable 

i still think 2007 was 3 years ago

The difference between bees and wasps.
Bee: Hi there friend! How are you today? I'm just doing my job, pollinating flowers and all, no need to be afraid of me, I'm just happy I get to enjoy this wonderful weather with you.
Wasp: Oh hey motherfucker, wanna go? I swear I will kill any cunt stupid enough to get 3 feet near me, I can sting you, and it will be the nastiest feeling you've had in awhile. Buzz Buzz, asshole. Bet that hurts doesn't it? Stupid fuck.

izzetheking:

How is sponge bob a sponge if everyone in his family are chocolate chip cookies

fawun:

what the fuck is this kid on

fawun:

what the fuck is this kid on

mom: don't eat the cookies yet, they just came out of the oven and are too hot
me: fire cannot kill a dragon

theyre:

Make fun of your baby for shitting itself

shaunofthebread:

zaynmaliki:

I’m at Disneyworld and tonight in honor of robin,the magic kingdom’s firework show was named genie’s wishes,and in the end they said “genie,you’re free”

image

sassycappy87:

Putting on your bra when your skin is wet is like wrestling with satan

squiiiije:

In Flo-Rida’s song “Low” he states that Shawty is wearing the apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur AND the Reeboks with the straps, what is she some kind of four legged morph woman? In all honesty I’m not surprised the whole club is looking at her 

keogdh:

he look like he still wanna laugh

keogdh:

he look like he still wanna laugh

kushandclemmings:

[game show host voice] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STEP RIGHT UP BECAUSE IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN TO PLAY EVERYONE’S FAVORITE FOURTH OF JULY GAME "IS THAT THUNDER, FIREWORKS, OR A GANG SHOOTOUT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW?"